#4 The Truth

Nina sat there silent. “I don’t want to answer you,” she thought.

Internally, she continued.

“I’m returning your call after 11:00 pm on Friday, during which you asked me what I was thinking to do on Sunday, and I told you that I could help you move from your hotel room into the apartment, then I’ll do some of my own work while you have lunch with your sister and mother, then I could join you for a little bit and then I had an idea to come over to my district, admittedly a long commute for you to return home, and meet my housemates.”

“You asked and I told you,” her inner monologue continues.

“After I tell you all this, you tell me that your sister told you not to go over there for lunch and to instead have dinner with her. Now you’re asking me to answer you on whether I will go to dinner with you and your sister, as your sister needs to know how much groceries to buy.” Says the silent brain.

“I haven’t been invited,” she says out loud into the phone.

“Why did you even ask what my thoughts were when you had a new plan to yourself?”

“It’s 11:00 pm on Friday and my first call was at 7:00 am this morning, now I’m confronted with this new plan, and you want an answer immediately. No, I am not going to answer now. I am not going to decide now,” she concludes, silently.

She breaks the silence, “ok, I hope you can rest well tonight.”

The voice in the phone says, “I’m waiting for you to answer whether you will come for dinner tomorrow night.”

“I do not want to answer now,” she says.

“Ok then, will you please tell her in the morning whether you will come or not? If you come, then we need to do it differently than if you don’t. She said she was going to buy groceries tomorrow, she needs to know how much to buy,” said the voice. “If you come, then we need to buy some dishes from outside to bring.”

“Ok,” she says.

Exhausted, she hangs up the phone. Her body a weight. She showers, completes folding the clean laundry taking up her sleeping space.

She lays in bed, the bedside lamp still on. She wants to journal, she wants to read, these are her daily practices. Her eyes feel heavy. A long day, early negotiations, new negotiations, a solid swim around dusk when drilling and buzzing of neighboring construction projects drove her away from her writing projects.

Her annoyance keeps her stirring in limbo, between awake and asleep. The light remains on until she musters her energy and clicks it off. She has chosen to sleep.

She wakes up within six hours.

—

“Why is Nina so stubborn,” thinks Riz.

“Why doesn’t she want to have family dinner on Mother’s day? Why did she say that her timing is flexible but now she insists on helping me bring my suitcases from my hotel to the apartment when I told her that I can handle it with the assistance of taxis and the staff in the hotels and apartment buildings. I told her to stay home longer in the morning and then come out later for dinner. I’ve already made it easier, why is she insisting to see me for lunch and then unwilling to decide on dinner?” her silent brain continues,

“I sit here, on the phone, I was already nearly a sleep when she called me back. Now it’s late, why is she making this longer? What is so hard? Can she not have dinner with her mother on Mother’s Day?” she narrates soundlessly.

“I hope you rest well tonight,” Riz hears the voice from the phone.

“What?!” she thinks “are you kidding me? I’m waiting for you to answer the damn question.”

“I’m waiting for you to answer the question, whether you will go to your aunt’s for dinner tomorrow,” she says.

“I do not want to answer right now,” says the voice.

“Oh my god, WTF” in her mind. Somehow, she keeps extraordinarily even.

“Ok, will you please tell your aunt tomorrow morning?” she says. Why should she have to chase Nina and be chased by her sister?

“She needs to know how much food to make and how much food to buy. If you come, it will be different. We will need to buy something to take over there too.” She adds. It’s already Friday, she thought.

“So will you please tell your aunt tomorrow morning?” she says.

“OK,” says the voice, coldly.

“Ok, thank you,” she says patiently.

Ok, goodnight. They say to each other.

Riz hangs up the phone, lays there in her bed alone and tries to drift off to sleep. Today she didn’t make it to lunch with her mother. The night before she hardly slept. Up all night without understanding, sleep from early morning until early afternoon. Why the disturbance? Why is this not easier? Why can’t Nina make it easier?

—

A mother and daughter make Mother’s day plans, neither speaking their full truth to the other, they close without conclusion after 20 minutes.