#13 Ms Reid
Dear Ms Reid — You seem like a very blonde very bland simply there on the screen type of girl. I don’t know you and I’ve watched just two movies you’ve ever been in but I’ve known your name since age 15 when the boys I liked then like the concept of you more than the existence of me.
In the second of those movies I watched, your eyes never moved. Your lips turned slightly upward at Ryan Reynolds’s character, slightly downward at that terrible boyfriend character of your character, closed sometimes, open sometimes. Your mouth does have more mobility than a Barbie’s, nonetheless I cannot tell if you ever yawn, sneeze, cough, grimace, laugh, blink, cry, snicker, giggle, sniffle, chortle, or chuckle.
I don’t know which is more monotone, your facial expressions or your hair. It’s been flat-ironed and bleached like a standard yellow post-it touched up with gloss, then pressed into panels parted around your face like an anime girl doll.
I don’t know which is more real, your hair or your tan. In the scene where you show up in a white string bikini, you look as natural as red velvet cake with thin cream layers. The sheen on your tan is equally genuine and metallic as that of your hair. Like your face and your hair, your body is perfect for a wax museum.
But hey, it can move. You can walk in that bikini. One step, another step, not graceful, not clumsy, not dignified, not embarrassed, not sexy, not playful, not captivating. One two three four five six seven… maybe a few more before you stop.
You walk, then you talk, standing in front of Ryan Reynolds, who does a decent job of looking slightly surprised and captivated by you.
The script, thank you for reading it to us. I don’t know which is more compelling, hearing it from you or hearing it in my head if I were to read it in only the company of my inner committee while lying on my dorm-size twin bed by a dusty screened open window framed by faded curtains.
You know what though, Ms Reid? I get it. I believe we both like the idea of being liked effortlessly, of having some type of attention we want, earned or unearned, on and off-screen. There’s a certain thrill to hearing your name called by strangers followed by “aw YEA!” and then all you have to do is show up, not needing to be the best or even be very good. I think we can both appreciate excellent marketing, selling an experience that people buy without needing to know more.
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This is day #13 of Don’t Break the Chain, a writing class by Cole Schafer.
Today’s exercise, to paraphrase: Describe in great detail, someone you hate, loathe, dislike, etc. It could be a celebrity or someone you know personally (or both). Once complete, describe one quality the two of us have in common.
